If you aren't part of the solution...

Pick one!

2010-10-15T12:08:00.000-07:00

Alright peeps, I am not a huge Halloween person, but since I have a built in prop this year, I figure I aughta get over myself and dress up.

This would be really funny:

except ~~I realized that I have serious love handles that would be hideous hanging out of those tiny shorts~~ that my neighbors would never look at me the same. So I found some ~~better~~ more options.

There is the skeleton baby:

Mother Earth:

And the Beer Belly:

Whadya think? There were other really funny ones but they all involved painting my belly and I don't think that I could pull that off having to pick up a toddler all night. He would be covered in paint by the end of the night!

*I lifted these pictures from google images and blocked out the faces because they probably don't want their mugs on my blog :)

Status Update: House

2010-10-01T11:10:00.001-07:00

So he left. What a relief. He left and took almost everything with him. He left us some "presents". An old bed, an old vacuum, ~~to vacuum (?) our wood floors~~, a bunch of dishes, and a vitamin water with a pitcher. Um... thanks? Oh, and a layer of filth and dog all over every surface, cigarette butts, and some pretty good sized holes in the walls. Thank heaven for the cleaning crew coming next week!! Besides the work that has to be done before we can move anything in, it is amazing.

I met all the neighbors and am completely in love with my neighborhood. On Sunday I walked down to the beach and there was some awesome yoga happening on the lawn overlooking the ocean, complete with (I KID YOU NOT!) a Vietnamese pig.

Only in freaking California! I LOVE it!!

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!"

2010-09-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

We bought a house. This house, to be specific:

Isn't it pretty?! I am in love with it.

It is in San Diego. Yes, I know we "live" in Phoenix, but we hate it here, and the housing market SUCKS(!) so we bought a house by the beach. Because we felt like it. We have owned the house for a month now, but have we seen the inside once? Nope. Why not? Because the previous owner is still living there. He is supposed to move out today (one of the many dates that he has said that he will be leaving thus far) and we are still not sure if he is actually going to be leaving today or not. Because he does not take our calls. Or our lawyers calls. We sicced the attorney on him after several times of changing his mind about leaving. He is living there ~~sort of~~ legally because he paid us rent for one month... but that month is up today, and I really want to knock on his front door and scream in a pregnant rage "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!"... but my attorney advised against that.

P.S. It was 111* here on Sunday, and almost October. Never more did I want to be somewhere, anywhere, other than here in my life. I was ready to drive to our house and pack his things myself, but G stopped me.

Hang up

2010-09-08T11:26:00.000-07:00

My husband does this thing at the end of a phone conversation. It might be because he is British. He initiates ending the conversation, like this for example:

Him: Okay honey, well I gotta get going. I have this (very importantish thing) to do.

I go along, willing to end the conversation because I have nothing important to add, but expecting what is going to happen next.

Me: Alright then, I will talk to you later.

This is when most people say "Okay, bye" and hang up right? Cause that is not what happens next with G.

Recap:

Him: Okay honey, well I gotta get going. I have this (very importantish thing) to do.

Me: Alright then, I will talk to you later.

Him: Okay, oh hey, did you check the mail?

Me: Yes, there are a few bills.

Him: Okay, I really gotta run.

Me: Alright honey, see you later on. Love you.

Him: Love you too... Oh hey, did you hear about Jill?

Me: Yeah, sounds terrible huh...

Him: I know! Can you imagine. Oh no! It's raining! I gotta go!

Me: Okay, Bye

Him: Oh hey honey, did you ever get a hold of your mom about tomorrow?

Me: Yeah, she said it is fine.

Him: Okay. Talk to you later.

Me: Okay, bye...

Him: How is the baby?

Me: He is playing with his blocks. He is in a good mood.

Him: Okay honey, I really have to go.

Me: Okay, bye

Him: Okay, bye! Love you

Me: Love you too.

click

There is a minimum of 4 attempts to end the conversation before it actually ends. He just loves me so much he can't hang up...

25 weeks

2010-09-02T11:18:00.000-07:00

From the front, I look fairly normal. A little heavier than normal for me (and in UGLY clothes), but normal.

But from the side? Ha! This picture does not really do the basketball justice. The shirt is a little baggy. It is pretty big. I have 15 weeks more of growing, and well, it is not getting any smaller. I had a lady tell me the other day that her belly was this big when she went in to labor at 40 weeks. I wanted to sock her in the nose.

Please excuse the bags under my eyes and dirty mirror. It has been teeth week here (the little guy has 6 coming in!) and we are all a little groggy. You are lucky I changed out of my drool covered shirt.

Listen, Love, Buy.

2010-08-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

This is an album that was put together by the VERY talented Ryan Marshall over at Pacing The Panic Room. I have been reading his blog from the start and admired the progression of his work. His stepson has Smith Magenis Syndrome, (which has too little known information) and the entirety of the proceeds from this album go towards a grant supporting research of this syndrome (that Ryan set up!). The music is mostly for kids, but will not make your ears bleed a la Barney. I bought it, and my little peeps love it.

Listen, love, buy.

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Summer Video

2010-08-28T11:48:00.001-07:00

In case the photos didn't do it justice, here is how we spent our summer:

Summer 2010 from MissM on Vimeo.

WTF Arizona #2

2010-08-25T06:58:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has been reading for a while knows that I do not like where I currently live... Phoenix. Literally Hell on Earth. So, in an effort to curb my hatred and frustration, I am starting a series called "WTF Arizona" wherein I will complain about some of the things that I find absurd about this place. Here we go...You can find WTF Arizona #1 here.

Let us talk about suburbia today. Phoenix is often referred to as The Valley of the Sun. Because the sun is really freakin intense here. The Phoenix Metropolitan area is also gigantic. It is the 5th largest city in the country and covers 9,000 square miles. See...

The valley has spread out because the major economy here is was housing, and to build lots of cheap houses cheaply made a lot of people a lot of money. The key word here is CHEAP. The average price of a house is about $150K, so pretty much anyone can buy a house here. Let's take a closer look at a random neighborhood I picked out of google maps...

This is sadly representative of much of the valley. Closer?

Oh look, they all have pools ~~that we cannot go in because they are about 90 degrees right now and do not actually cool you off~~ to cool off in.

Closer still? Okay.

These are very normal houses here. And for being one of the hottest inhabited places in the world with incredibly intense sun, it is absolutely beyond me ~~and ANY person who has ever sat in the shade~~ why there are not bigger awnings to shade the windows. Because the shade is cooler. Which makes the house cooler. Which makes your electricity bill cheaper... In case you missed it, the awnings are small so they could build the houses closer together, to make more money. And because they are cheap.

What? You want to have a career here to pay for your house? That is funny, because all of the people that had careers in the ONE thing the valley had going for itself are unemployed because no one is buying new houses. Why not? Because of the 100,000 homes on the market, most of which are foreclosures. And? The number one employer here (after the government) is Wal Mart. And yes, I am totally serious.

Whew! I totally feel better after getting that off my chest!

Don't worry Jason and Deb, your topics are on the docket!

WTF Arizona #1

2010-08-12T07:29:00.000-07:00

A non-BlogHer NYC post

2010-08-11T13:58:00.000-07:00

So I was in NYC last weekend... But not for BlogHer. One of my very best friends from the 7th grade (!) lives there and I took Baby O to play in the city. I had never been before and it was SO wonderful! The style, the art, the culture, the public transport... All of the things I cannot find here in Phoenix... Of course I have a zillion photos, so I will shut up and show you...

We played on playgrounds. ..

And more playgrounds...
Who knew there were this many playgrounds in the big city? Not me! He loved it!
He stared in awe at the subway as it pulled into the station whilst eating a graham cracker...
He rocked the bus...
And took in art at the Met...
And played in the grass at Central Park...
He made his auntie follow him uuuuupppp the hill...
And doooooowwwnnnn the hill... Over and over and over...
He smiled in Columbus Circle at the taxis and pedicabs...
And read the MoMA guide in German.
And decided that this is his (my) favorite painting...
by her...
I stole the good camera and played photog in Central Park... I can't wait to see those pictures!
We strolled across the Brooklyn Bridge...
And got a picture of ourself taking a picture of ourself in front of the NYSE...
see?
And then we came home. We had jetlag, but have thankfully recovered.

The las few weeks we...

2010-08-01T13:45:00.000-07:00

Went to the beach with friends...

And the kids cuddled up...

And played in the sand...

And some more sand...

And napped in the car after a long day...

And rode carousels...

Ans posed in silly pictures by giant trees...

And played in parks...

And conned bloggers we just met into riding roller coasters...

Babies love dogs

2010-07-21T09:07:00.000-07:00

My children and I are at katydidnot's house. We escaped the heat of the desert (it was 114* the other day!!) and came to the coast. the baby gets strapped to a chair here for breakfast, but other than that, it is basically like home...

My little guy loves her weiner dog.

The feeling is mutual. They love each other so much that I caught them kissing.

Gross! He is getting a major tooth brushing today! He the baby, not the dog...

Baby fix...

2010-07-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

In case you need one... watch these. These are my baby, in case you don't already know that... He just turned one and I make these videos of him to send to his relatives that live on the other side of the pond... He is absolutely delicious.

Baby O Months 7 & 8 from MissM on Vimeo.

Baby O Months 9 and 10 from MissM on Vimeo.

Baby O Months 11 & 12 from MissM on Vimeo.

Long time no see...

2010-04-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

I have been a very busy lady.

There have been trips...

And milestones...

And parties...

And news*...

*That is a plus sign... as in PLUS another person going to be in this family. I am 18 weeks pregnant!

Defeat of the cutest kind

2010-03-03T08:19:00.000-08:00

There was an unspoken contest in our house... Who could get the baby to say their name first. And my husband won from ANOTHER CONTINENT! It was really cute though, so I encouraged him to continue so I could get it on video. The winner should at least be able to SEE his victory...

The 753rd Load

2010-03-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

So when you are folding clothes and you see a clump of green stuff on your shorts and you are really sleep deprived, you might just ignore it. You are covered in spitup most days anyway, so who really cares about a little green sticky stuff. And you really dont give it s second thought.

Then when you are unloading the dryer from the 753rd load of laundry that you have done that week, you see some sticky green stuff on the sides of the dryer and you are sleep deprived ~~because your husband is out of town and your very cute and sweet baby is a really really really bad sleeper so you can barely remember your name~~ so you don't give it a second thought.

Then when you are folding the 753rd load of laundry and you get a whiff of peppermint? You think first, hey, my laundry detergent smells really good! then you think OMG my laundry detergent did not smell like peppermint for loads 1 through 752! (And yes, you really think in "OMG" and not the actual words.)

And then you find the shorts with the goo and you look at the dryer again and realize that one of your family members is seriously going to get it because hello they left gum in their pocket! And you have to call your mom to find out how to get the gum out. And your mom tells you to use wax paper and a hair dryer. So you do. And you get really hot and burn out your favorite hair dryer. Then you have to use the crappy backup hair dryer. And all the gum comes out. But you think that your favorite hair dryer is really dead now. And the whole time you are cursing out the family member that left the gum in their pocket. And the only safe person in your house is the baby because he can't chew gum yet. And you are really ready to lose your shit because ruined shorts AND burned out hair dryer. And then you realize that "that family member"? Was you.

Another (very cute) baby movie

2010-02-28T06:26:00.000-08:00

Baby O Months 7 & 8 from MissM on Vimeo.

It's a long one too!

I didn't think I would still be making them, but after every one, family asks for another one. Mostly family that lives out of the country. I have fun putting them together so I cannot complain. I think it makes my mother in law very happy to see him in action ~~the mother in law that I have never met, yes that one~~.

I find myself taking more video than still photos lately because his little actions have been so adorable. All the baby noises and facial expressions ~~that I am not a good enough photographer to capture~~.

11 days and a goal

2010-02-23T12:24:00.000-08:00

I dropped my husband off at the airport this morning. He is going to South America for 11 days for work ~~thank god it is not for birds again because I swear that I would have completely lost it on him if that was the reason~~ . And although that means 11 days of not sharing the TV or making something that I don't love for dinner, that means 11 days of being solely responsible for everything else. I was a single parent, and I remember how hard it was, but I was not single when LMC was a baby... There are NO breaks for the single moms of babies. By day 4 I am usually calling up my mom and asking her to come "play" so I can turn around for more than 30 seconds at a time...

Maybe that is a hint that I need to baby proof... Oh wait, you can't baby proof for scorpions. ~~Maybe we should just MOVE already!!!~~

Instead of spending the next 11 days moping though, I am looking at it as an opportunity. The baby needs to learn to sleep, ~~because sleep is the one place that this baby SUCKS~~ and G is even wimpier than me when the baby cries. I am determined to get this baby to go to sleep on his own while G is gone. I have a plan, and I am ready. It would be easier with cupcakes or cocktails to soothe my nerves, but since those are both currently off limits, I will be channeling the Dalai Lama and breathing deeply. In through my nose, out through my mouth.

Say it with me... In through the nose, out through the mouth...

Past tense of the verb lend?

2010-02-16T10:39:00.001-08:00

I used to be Catholic. And with being Catholic came lent. The Friday night trips to Long John Silver's for fish, or cheese pizzas because we couldn't eat meat. Mom growling in the drive thru line because she gave up French fries. As a child, I thought the whole thing was really stupid. Tell a kid to give something up without a tangible reason and they think you're nuts.

Now that I am no longer religious ~~unless you count the religion in my head~~ I use lent as a chance to test myself. One year I gave up cocktails. One year dessert. Etc.

Last year I gave up giving things up. Because I was hugely pregnant. And my grandma was dying. It was all a bit much to be "testing" myself on top of things.

This year, people, I am giving up sugar. Seriously. And because I know that I will compensate with something else that is sweet, I am also nixing sugar and honey. Basically, if I want something sweet, it is fruit or nothing. I am not a huge junk food eater, but I have a serious sweet tooth. I eat plain yogurt covered in nuts and honey almost every day ~~because I can not eat ice cream every day like I want to or my clothes would never fit and I would be 300 pounds~~. See, compensation. And I Splenda my coffee too. And things like Girls Scout cookies talk to me from the freezer and beg me to eat them. And I usually do. Not all of them. But probably more than I should. At least I think about them more than I should.

So anyway. The point is to give myself a "test" and get my sweet tooth in check. It usually works. Think positive thoughts ~~especially for my family cause the poor chaps are gonna need it having to live with me for the next 46 days~~!

Lent starts tomorrow though, and tonight, I will simultaneously be watching the Olympics and devouring a pint of Haagen Dazs.

I will let you know along the way how it goes.

Brilliant

2010-02-12T13:12:00.000-08:00

What a relief that I don't have most of these problems! But, the man version of the commercial was really annoying and I am so happy that some badass women made one as well. Ha! This had been circulating and you probably have already seen it, BUT if not, watch it.

Vids. As in more than one. Take your time.

2010-01-15T14:54:00.000-08:00

I am way late on these, but Baby O is 6 months old! Here is the video capturing the last 2 months...

Baby O Months 5 and 6 from MissM on Vimeo.

I also made a 2009 photo recap video a few weeks back. My dad is singing again on this one. I like to use him because I can't get sued that way :) Oh, and because he is awesome.

2009 year in photos from MissM on Vimeo.

Not a little girl anymore...

2010-01-14T14:52:00.000-08:00

In January, we had a few random mishaps that greatly impaired my blogging. First, I lost the internet for a few weeks. Seriously. While my husband was in Brazil. For 11 days. It was challenging. Then, I had to take traffic school online for a red light ticket that I got. I did not run a red light (really...) I turned right on a red light without coming to a "complete stop" and the camera thing got me. It was expensive and time consuming. And stupid. Because I totally paused.

Anyway. There were a bunch of birthdays in our family last month, including mine, G's, and LMC's. She is NOT a little girl anymore... proof:

She looks so much like her baby brother! Weird huh, because they have different fathers. Creepy.

Looks NOTHING like me! So blonde!

She is such a little woman! I am a very proud momma.

I have been a bit sheepish..

2010-01-14T10:33:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry. I have been avoiding you. There. I confessed. What? You want to know why? I knew you were going to ask that.

Remember all that talk about graduate school? And how I applied? Well, apparently... they reject people. I know, right! Who'da thought! So I cried on G's shoulder and had an existential crisis. Something like "I am a loser... Sob.. cough... sniff... I can't even get into grad school... Boohoo... Waaaa!!!" And he reminded me that I got into a different school. Twice. And that I just didn't go (because of my ex, not by my choice). So I got over it... and decided that I will just reapply in a few months, but to more than one school this time. It still sucks a little bit that I am not busy using my brain much these days, but one day I will use it again. I promise.

ALSO, I read that today is National Delurking Day... I know there are lurkers out there... So, hop on out and say hi!!

Thanks for always reading and putting up with my craziness!

XO
Me

un-birthday

2009-12-30T15:50:00.000-08:00

It is Baby O's half birthday! He is 6 months old today... So since I have not made a video for that yet...

*Permission to speak freely...

2009-12-30T10:32:00.000-08:00

Alright, give it to me... You know you have burning questions for me that you are just DYING to have answers to... Maybe you want to know how many pounds I gained with my pregnancy to successfully look like this ~~hot mess~~:

Or you want to know if I am going to have another baby, because it seems that EVERYONE wants to know that lately. Or you want to know if my dad is single... Or how I scored my hot husband:

It is coming up on the one year blogaversary here, and you can't let your questions go unanswered any longer! The suspense is killing you!

Ask me in a comment or shoot me an email... This should be fun! And mom, you probably know all the answers already, just FYI.

*Yes I know I am a nerd... I hope you got the reference...

Conclusions

2009-12-28T14:04:00.001-08:00

There seems to be some worldwide controversy about when the decade ends. Math people (you know who you are) think there is another year left in the decade, and the rest of us think there is another day. So being in the "rest of us" camp, I give you...

Things I did in the last decade:
(Not necessarily in this order, but mostly)

*got pregnant

-graduated high school

*started college

-had a baby (LMC)

*became a vegetarian

-cocktail waitressed in a bunch of bars

*got a real job

-got married

*got divorced

-graduated college

*dated a bit

-struggled quite a bit

*partied a little

-gave up on men

*Met G

-went to Italy (with G) and decided I was going to marry him

*Got into graduate school twice but didn't go. (Stupid Ex-husband)

-got married (to G)

*Got pregnant with G's baby

-tried to move to San Diego

*failed miserably, got stuck in Phoenix

-quit my real job

*had G's baby (Baby O)

-managed to keep both of my children alive

*recovered from vegetarianism... but not really

-applied to graduate school a 3rd time

*waiting to hear about said graduate school application
attempt... still...

-learned to cook. sort of

*Kept 2 pints of ice cream in the house untouched for one whole week! (That is a record. Can anyone say will power? Ok so that was last week. And only because I was testing myself. So can I eat it now? )

-learned a LOT about life

*started my blog

-lost both of my grandmothers

*gained some *amazing* friends

-became a completely, 100%, different person than I was at the start of the decade. Completely. And I like who I am now.

Cost of cuteness

2009-12-20T12:57:00.000-08:00

I have ~~still~~ never met my mother in law. Which means she has never met our little bald bundle of fun. So to ease her pain (because she has to be in pain a little because c'mon, he is her first and only grandbaby and he is SO freakin cute!) we skype and I send her my monthly(ish) videos so that she can see his face regularly.

So, being Christmas and all, G and I bought her a gift that would bring our faces to her. A digital photo frame. You know, the ones that change pictures every 7 seconds or something. G liked the expensive one ~~obviously~~ and that is the one we bought her. I loaded it full of pitcures and packed it up, and made sure there was a European outlet converter for her in there and everything, and I put a pretty bow on it too. All she would have to do is plug the thing in and she could see his cute mug all dang day. All 300 frames of him.

Cost so far? $150.00

So, I went to the post office to send it. They made me fill out my life story on the customs form before charging me exorbitantly for postage. And bubble wrap.

Cost so far? $200.00

So, it got there quickly. Less than a week to England isn't bad. ~~For $50 bucks... Jerks~~ But the Royal Mail (You have to say that with an English accent because otherwise it doesn't sound as snooty. Try again... Rrrroyal Mail...) wanted 36 pounds to hand it over! You can't charge someone for their own gift!! That's like another $55.00! It is for "tax" and "delivery"... I think it is really for the Queen and her Royalness. Royal Mail. Hah.

So we sent her a check. Cause that sucks.

Total Cost? $255.00

All in all, it cost us almost as much to send her the gift as the gift itself. There HAS to be an easier way! Oh well, she will LOVE seeing this cute face every single day.

Little man in the mirror.

2009-12-08T12:26:00.000-08:00

What is a woman to do while waiting to hear from the Grad school of her choice? Why, spend copious amounts of time making silly faces at a grouchy little teething man in the mirror while simultaneously taking photos. Obviously...

He thinks I am funny. Or funny looking. Either way, I get the laughs!

If. And. Then.

2009-12-04T07:52:00.000-08:00

If you marry a British man that used to watch his mom cook pastries on Saturday afternoon (Aw, he loves his mummy...), he will get nostalgic around the holidays and want to have some around the house. And not the already made kind.

After teaching you how to make pastry by hand for your pumpkin pie, he will buy one of these:

A Cuisinart Food Processor. The biggest one they make. Because why buy the medium sized one when you can buy the BIGGEST one? Right?

Then he will decide that he wants to make sausage rolls and jam tarts. With real butter.

So he will play with his new toy in the kitchen and make the pastry and roll it out, then fill some with yummy sausage and some with sugary jam and bake them.

And they will make your house smell really good. And you will eat them. Many of them. TOO many of them. And the next morning you will get on the scale, and you will have gained 3 pounds. Because sausage. And butter. And delicious sugary jam.

So you will move the container of pastries to the depths of the cupboard so they stop saying "eat me" with their buttery little lips.

And then you will go to the gym.

So you can have another one later.

Holiday card...

2009-12-01T12:31:00.000-08:00

So we decorated our Christmas tree last weekend, and since I have 2 kids, I thought that they should take a photo next to the tree and be our Holiday card.

So I made the big one shower, and I gave the little one a bath, and they both smelled nice simultaneously. It was glorious.

Look how pretty the big one looks:

But the little one? He looks like he is vibrating...

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

But he liked the lights on the tree, so I laid him under it, and he did this?

Picture together by the tree? Fail. Separate but still cute pictures? Score.

Where, oh where, have you gone...

2009-11-30T09:53:00.000-08:00

See me here?

and here too...

I am wearing my FAVORITE jacket, and those photos are from the weekend that I got married. I also wore that jacket on New Years Eve, which is the last time I actually remember wearing it. And then I put it away for the duration of this:

because it would not button. Or tie. Because I was huge.

It was perfect length. Perfect warmth for the not very cold Phoenix/ San Diego winters. Water resistant. Had a hood. Tied to make me look thinner than I really am. PERFECT.

And that perfect favorite? Gone. I did the ritualistic pulling put of the winter(ish) clothes, and it was not there. So I looked in all the closets. I looked in the random clothes containers. I looked in the garage, and I even called the dry cleaners to see if I forgot to pick it up. Completely MIA. I started doing that racing thing, where you are looking so frantically that you are not productively looking any longer. No luck.

Damn.

So now I am on the quest to find a replacement. If this goes like my hunt for new boots, I am in major trouble.

The very best part about the perfect favorite jacket? $35 at Ross last year. This year? No such luck.

Hiatus

2009-11-25T07:24:00.000-08:00

Oh, right. Yes, I have a blog. I am here-ish, but just busy.

Recap?

I applied to graduate school. And now I am waiting to hear back. Patience is not one of my virtues.

Baby O has officially cut his first tooth. At 4 1/2 month old! Crazy right? The second one is going to happen any day now too. Man, he is so big! Cutting teeth hurts him and so it really hurts my sleeping habits (not that I was getting much before) so bring on the coffee!

G went to the jungle and saw some amazing things! Like a mountain lion in front of their car. I sort of wish he were joking, but he is not. He saw all the birds he wanted to see and then some. I think he has his fix for a while.

Baby O and I went away for a few days. It was so nice to get away and spend time with good friends and just relax without feeling like I had to do house work or run errands. Just relax. Ah...

We are having Turkey Day at my dad's house with BOTH of my families (they always have gotten along), and I delegated a job to everyone. It is always a pot luck Thanksgiving because there are, like, 30 of us... I still had to arrange it though. I hope the cleaning crew came!!

I am off to do LMC's Christmas shopping before the crazy weekend!

What makes a secret a secret?

2009-11-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

I took a class in college called Marriage and Family Relationships. It basically summed up a whole ton of statistics over a semester. The stat that stood out in my mind the most significantly is the number of children that are molested. One in four. And nearly always by someone they know and trust. I knew people that had been molested and how it had affected their lives, always greatly.

LMC was small at that time, about 3 years old, and the feeling that I got in the pit of my stomach when hearing that number and the coinciding lectures was strong. I wanted to wrap my little girl up in a cocoon of safety so no one could ever hurt her like that. It was then that I started drilling into her brain that her body was hers alone, and that she should never, under any circumstances, keep a secret from me. She is pretty good about this. She even admits when she gets into trouble at school without me asking, and tells me WAY more info about her dad than I want to know (or that he would want me to know for that matter).

Basically she learned that secrets are not OK.

This leads to a very gray area, and I am so confused about how to teach her about what is a secret and what is private. Now, LMC is a little bit of an over sharer. I always cringe when she starts off with "My mom said..." because she often changes my words a little which can be totally embarrassing, or tells people things that they DO NOT need to know.

Example...

LMC (on the phone with her dad): Oh I am good, but my mom is annoyed because she got her period and breastfeeding women shouldn't get their periods.

Me: (silently) Thanks a lot kid! Overshare!!

Here is the hard part for a kid to understand...

Me: While it is not a secret that I got an unwelcome visit from Aunt Flo, I don't want your dad/dad's girlfriend of the week/teacher/guitar class/swim coach to hear about it. Because it is private.

LMC: So you mean like a secret?

Me: Uh... no, just, uh, like, uh, they just don't really need to know...

LMC: Well, if I can't tell anyone, that makes it a secret. And secrets are bad.

Me: Yes, secrets kept from me and dad are bad. You are right. I am not explaining this well...

So how do I explain the difference to her? She will find out things eventually that are private, like that people in her family have been to jail... Not a secret necessarily, but certainly private...

Like a caged bird, except I can't sing...

2009-11-06T12:22:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am talking about myself in the title. I feel like I am in a little cage of sorts. Get ready for the bitch-fest...

I have had a few events recently that have added up to a perfect little storm of feeling sorry for myself. It started with the return of my monthly visit from Aunt Flo, and she brought her friends Hormone and PMS with her... They are really annoying to have around. Especially to husbands. THEN, Baby O got a cold. He already is a crappy sleeper, so that only compounded the problem. Up. Every. Hour. Hello sleep deprivation. Oh yeah, I also have been applying to graduate school, which in itself is not so bad, except I was already accepted to grad school. TWICE. In San Diego. Where it is not still 90 degrees out. Did I mention yet that it was 94 degrees the other day?

Aaaannnddd...

Last night Baby O and I tried to go to The Pioneer Woman's cook book signing, and had a major FAIL. There were a ton of people there, and she was going to talk for an hour before signing books. Cue crying baby and dirty looks, and we called it a night before it even started. I drowned my sorrows in some dark chocolate and a glass of red wine and whined to my sweet ladies that would listen...

TTTThhhhhheeennnnnnnn...

A while ago, G planned a trip to go birding (yes, birding is a word. it is the act of bird watching) with a few friends for 10 days, and most of it is on a week when LMC is with her dad. Now, I am fairly new to the whole staying home thing, and I am not super keen on it. As much as I like being able to go to the gym every day and have lunch with my husband (He works from home), I am bored. Not physically bored... Mentally bored. I need more stimulation. So the concept of being home alone with an infant for an entire week, without even my husband to harass, is seriously daunting. There is no one to talk to except Baby O, and he doesn't have much input. All of my friends here work, so I am on my own on this one...

I'm sure there is an upside to this... I just have to be creative to see it. I can watch whatever I want on TV, and have cereal for dinner... Until then, I am off to make
the Best Pot Pie Ever.

I don't care if they were here first...

2009-10-31T14:36:00.000-07:00

While everyone seemed to like my rugs the pervasive concern in the comment section lay with the scorpion catchers. You can revisit my scorpion haunts here and here. Just to be clear, we have found (and by we, I pretty much mean ME!) scorpions in my closet, on my bathroom wall, in the bathroom sink, on my bathroom floor, on my bedroom floor (x3), under my bed, on the wall over my bed, in the hall leading to my room (x2), on the living room floor (x2), on the living room wall, on the living room ceiling (x3), in the hall between living and family room, in the hall leading to the kids' rooms (x3) in the guest bathroom (already dead), on the kids' bathroom windowsill, on the kids' bathroom ceiling, behind Baby O's dresser (dead), in the kitchen sink (x2), on the kitchen ceiling, on the kitchen wall, and most recently... under the F*ing kitchen table. And that is just inside. I can picture every single one of the little bastards too. Ew!

Not once have we found a scorpion IN one of the scorpion traps. Crickets? yep. Little Spiders? Yep. Even a lizard (which was really sad because I made G take it outside and un-stick it and set it free. Poor little guy).

I can now add scorpion killer to one of my many talents. See, you can't just squish them because they don't die on the carpet, and they make a mess on the walls (experience people! Trust!!). You take a giant pair of tweezers (I am totally not joking kids) and sneak up on the little beast. Grab the stinger with the giant tweezers, carry the jerk outside, and THEN smash him. You must take great pleasure in the smash because he came in your house. And he could totally kill your baby in his sleep and for that you hate him and must smash him into pastelike smithereens. See? Giant tweezers:

Pretend scorpion:

G and I have a regular argument about them. He argues that, duh, we live in the freaking desert, and they like pools and palm trees and, well, look at our back yard.

Uh, pool, palm trees, and oh yeah, a mountainous desert.

And then I say yeah but her:

And him!

And he's all yeah, pesticides!, plus you can't really kill them by spraying, you can only kill their food. And I sort of agree and shut up.

And that is how we live with scorpions. And why we always wear flip flops in the house. Again... not kidding.

The end.

Cancel your weekend plans.***

2009-10-24T11:44:00.001-07:00

Because, remember him?

Yeah, well he learned to do this today:

Baby O blows bubbles from MissM on Vimeo.

Now watch this over and over.

***Viewing video may cause the sudden urge to procreate/lactate. Sorry.

Month 4

2009-10-21T12:23:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, I know it seems like the only thing I have to post about is my baby... But do you really want to hear about grad school applications and my quest to lose the last 5 pounds? Didn't think so.

We had Baby O's well visit with the doctor this last week. He is 16 lbs of pure deliciousness! It was really pitiful when he got his first cold last week. He couldn't breathe through his nose and he made the tiniest little coughing sound... He still refuses to sleep for a reasonable amount of time, and since he is mostly over his cold I have started to try to "sleep train" him. And by started, I mean last night. So far it is not working, as measured by the bags still under my eyes. There is always hope that one day I will sleep for more than 2 hours in a row, right... RIGHT???

He is absolutely adorable otherwise. He started to reach for things deliberately then try to put them into his mouth and gnaw on them. He drools a TON! He LOVES to play with his daddy, and they play a very cute game where G helps him stand and O laughs. He smiles a huge cheesy grin whenever G or LMC walk into the room and acknowledge him.

He rubs his eyes when he's tired (adorable!) and rolls from his belly to his back (but only when I'm not looking of course). He arches his back in his swing or his crib when he wants to be picked up. And following in his sister's footsteps... he "talks" ALL the time. Here's to hoping he grows out of that. (Only kidding a little. I'm not sure I can handle two full time talkers.)

My dad wrote and recorded the song that is the audio...

Baby O Month 4 from MissM on Vimeo.

It shouldn't be this hard...updated

2009-10-16T12:47:00.000-07:00

First. Entirely unrelated to the rest of this post, it was 104 degrees out today. For those of you freezing, this may sound great, but frankly, I have been sweating since March (blame my pregnancy only a little) and I am OVER IT!! I can move on now...

So I have been training for the same half marathon for over a year.

First there was pregnancy, then 2 weeks into running again, I hurt my knee. That annoyed me, but it got better. I don't want any setbacks or "excuses" to not reach my goal! Every time I hit a setback I take a week or so off running, and concentrate on the elliptical machine, plus strength training.

So my "running buddy" (who was also my labor coach/cousin) mentioned last week that there is a 5k and 10K this weekend. Score one for an opportunity to practice my running in a group setting! So I set my mind on the 10K. Cue calf pain. 10K should be pretty doable for me, but the pain on the treadmill bringing tears to my eyes told me there would be no 10K this weekend.

I went anyway and did the 5K, and it hurt a little to watch the runners pass as I pushed the jogging stroller and walked with my LMC and stepdad. I cheered my cousin on at the finish line, but I secretly wanted to be next to her ~~who am I kidding, wayyyyy behind her, I am slow!~~

I am determined to run this half marathon in January. I enjoy running, and it is a check off for my life list. I can't wimp out. I just can't.

*We didn't watch the award ceremony because the times were, well, walking times. We should have stayed though. LMC took 3rd in her age group for the 5K! She is SO cool!

**The high temperature was actually 105.6 degrees out today. Because I know you care and all.

But do the drapes match?

2009-10-09T14:14:00.001-07:00

I was never really a rug person. It always seemed a little silly to me... A carpet on TOP OF a carpet? Why? Seemed like something extra to clean to me. Or vacuum around. I was not convinced of the necessity.

That era of my life is now officially over. Let's call it the Pre-Rug Era. I have been converted to a Rug Lover! I didn't know what wonderful things an extra carpet could do to a room!

My husband converted me gradually. I had 2 rugs that I had in my apartment kitchen. Which was tiled. ~~Mostly so I didn't have to sweep as often~~ because they are a really pretty color green. In our new house, we have a giant carpeted master bathroom, and because I am messy, those rugs go where you would stand at the sinks. It's like insurance for when I break a blush or squeeze out lotion too fast.

THEN!!! He started to comment that our white carpet (Seriously who thought white carpet was a good idea. I mean really.) was looking a bit mangy. I agreed and said I would call the carpet cleaners. He also mentioned that they looked a bit bland (again white carpet why?) and maybe we could go to IKEA and get a few rugs...

Ha. A few.

There is the obligatory front door mat. Not really a rug, but whatever. And pretty boring in fact...

Then there is the ~~blurry photo of the~~ hallway rug.

Another hallway... Another pretty boring one.

Our bedroom... This one is my favorite!

Living room left (G bought this one for the baby to play on, which he actually likes a lot because it is soft, because it is sheep skin. As in the actual skin of a sheep. Ew. I lost that argument.)

Living room right. With a baby entertainer...

You can imagine the sea of white that was our house before the rugs! It's not a huge improvement, but hey, we are minimalists... My theory is that the more stuff you have, the more stuff you have to clean.

And yes, the drapes DO match. Because they are white too.

My LMC was completely bald until she was well past one year...

2009-10-03T15:57:00.000-07:00

But...

I saw this link on another bloggers website, and for some reason it really disturbed me. Maybe it is the way the babies look made up and pretend, or maybe it is because it seems like a lack of unconditional acceptance for the baby... What happened to putting your bald baby girl in pink, or just letting the world ask what gender she is?

This IS weird, right?

3 Months already?!

2009-10-02T16:40:00.000-07:00

My babe is 3 months old. I know I am a few days late with the video, but better late than never?

He has gotten a little personality this month. He coos and giggles at just about everyone that talks to him, you score bonus points with him if you have dark hair and eyes like mommy and nana. He will go back and forth cooing if you prompt him to. Like a parrot. He holds himself up on his forearms on his belly and looks around until his head gets too heavy.

There seems to be an unhealthy relationship with air vents transpiring. He hyper fixates on them like his mommy in a Nordstrom Shoe department.

He waves his right hand around incessantly. Which is cute because I always feel like I am back in the symphony being conducted... Always the right hand though. Never the left. Sometimes he just stares at his hand. He started to put together that his hands belong to him, and he reaches for things.

When he is tired he fights sleeping though. I mean FIGHTS. He rubs his face back and forth until his nose gets red, and waves his arms around, and kicks his legs. He is a champion sleep fighter. Also? Drool. Lots and LOTS of drool. And spit up. He will spit up a heap of breast milk on anyone that gives him a shoulder or a shirt and an opportunity.

He is seriously adorable, and a really good baby most of the time. I am having a great time being a mommy to two!

Baby O Month 3 from MissM on Vimeo.

*The music is my dad! He wrote it in a friend's recording studio a while back and made me a CD. LMC thinks the song is about her because her "Papa is always thinking about her!" She LOVES it!

A mini success story

2009-09-25T13:56:00.000-07:00

I know you all remember my pedicure envy, right? Well, after Babio and I had breakfast today, (where a lady talked my ear off while I ate my omelet about breastfeeding and my choice of attire for my baby. Also, she had 5 kids, two are now doctors. I know way too much about them. I think she was lonely.) we were walking back to our hotel (we are in SD) and we passed a nail salon. After a quick glance in the stroller I discovered that I had a very passed out baby, and some seriously nasty nails. So, we (as in me) decided to get a manicure and pedicure.

I picked out a pretty color, and before I could get my grubby cuticles in the soapy water someone "goo"ed from inside the stroller...

Someone like him:

Luckily, he turned his volume to a reasonable level. He goo'ed and coo'ed and gurgled and flirted with all the ladies asking "how old you baby?" winning their hearts with his gums.

He was a perfect little man for me! Which is a refreshing change from our time spent in the car. That is a whole other post. I (rather boringly) got clear polish on my fingernails (because obviously) but it was a mani pedi success.

Score
Mom:1
Baby:783

Lady (wishing she were) in red

2009-09-25T13:46:00.001-07:00

I have always wanted to wear red lipstick. But, every time I put it on, I feel like a little girl playing in her mommy's make up. Yes, I know, I AM a mommy, but there is this:

(I got into my mom's lipstick one morning. I was 17 months old)

It kinda stuck.

Here are examples of red lips I LOVE:

(Shhh, yes I like Tori Spelling. Don't hate.)

Maybe it is because all of these women *confidently* rock the red lips, where, I feel like a jacka$$ with them.

Plus there is all this talk of the right shade of red to match your skin tone with words like warm, cool, medium, light. I look at my skin and all I see is average, but not red, with moles. What is the perfect shade for average, but not red, with moles?

And I don't ever trust the make up counter ladies. They always scare me a little.

Until I figure out the whole confident red lips thing, I wear lip gloss instead.

(All photos courtesy of Google Images. Except the one of me. Obviously.)

Mr. Not-a-Present

2009-09-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

So the other day my sweet husband texted me on his way home from Birding (the act of watching/ seeking out (rare) birds. we are certifiably nerdier for these acts) and said that he had a present for me. I thought "yay! I love presents!" I assumed that because today is our Anniversary (Hooray! We have been married for 1 whole year!!) he thought ahead and bought me something sweet.

I could tell immediately that the Trader Joe's bag he was holding was a LIVE present. He was walking funny with it. I backed away. I don't like critters unless they are furry and cute. This bag did not look like it was containing something furry and cute. After several reassurances that the contents of the bag would not bite/scratch/jump at/eat me I peered in and found this:

Lemme tell you what this** is. Not a present. This is the opposite of present.

Vacation to here? Present.

Not a present:

Pretty bag? Present. (Bonus points if you know the name of this bag!!)

Not a present.

Sexy shoes? Present. (this is actually a present for him as much as me, because, SEXY!)

Not a present.

Budget Present:

Not a present.

Lucky for him, he bought me the mother of all necklaces about a month ago***, which covers him for Anniversary, Christmas, and possible my Birthday as well. Smart guy! Makes up for Mister Not-a-Present here...

**Mister Not-a-Present is a turtle. A "crazy lady" was going to set him free in the water ranch where my husband was Birding and he would have totally died. So my husband "saved" him. Now we have to find him a real home. Cause Nigel's old cage is not going to become Mr. Not-a-Present's cage.

***My husband is not a big gift buyer, but when he does? HE DOES!

(all images except for Mr. Not-a-Present courtesy of Google Images)

The hat doubles as a "parakeet blanket" to help him sleep...

2009-09-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

While I would like to pretend that I have something important to talk about... I don't. I could blabber on about Health Reform, or my desire for adult interaction, or even the "present" my husband brought me in a Trader Joe's bag (tomorrow people, I have to have something for tomorrow!), but that is boring. He is not:

project managing how he will fit the whole think in his mouth... can it be done?

Yes it can! He CAN fit the whole thing in his mouth!

That's all.

If you aren't smiling now, you need drugs... because Baby Therapy is the best therapy!

C'est la vie

2009-09-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

My daughter had a mean girl run in and it brought back all the memories of MY own mean girl run ins when I was younger.

There was the girl in elementary school that would only be my friend on the weekend because she didn't want the other girls to know that she was my friend. The same girl made fun of my clothes for being from Target and Kmart.

There was the girl that threatened to kick my a** in the 7th grade. I was terrified of her! There was also the "best" friend that told me that I was "lucky to have her as a friend because no one else liked me". There was the girl that made that one sleepover complete hell by making fun of me the entire night. My "friends" went along. Literally all night long.

Now, I was no saint either. I told a girl in the seventh grade that she needed to go see my mom for a lip wax. (I have since apologized)

There were really good times too. We always had sleepovers with about 5 or 6 girls. When we had them at my house, we always conned my stepdad into taking us somewhere and causing some sort of trouble. Like Taco Bell. We would cram into the back of his little blue pickup truck and yell at people while driving the 1/2 a mile to Taco bell, and generally cause a scene. Once we got to Taco Bell, my skinny little friend with a big mouth, would always eat a burrito whole. In one bite. We always thought she was going to choke because she was laughing while doing it. There were beans EVERYWHERE!

If we were lucky, we would get him to take us to Safeway later in the night for ice cream. Once he agreed, we would dress as embarrassingly as possible before leaving. Once again to the back of the pickup, and then on to the ice cream isle, clad in striped socks, blue eyeshadow, and multiple ponytails. Poor guy...

Of course we can't forget the girl that made her butt talk a la Ace Ventura. To my parents. "I'd like to Asssssssk you a few questions..." How sad to be remembered as the girl that could make her butt talk... She was so pretty too...

And the toilet paper... I always wondered who cleaned up the toilet paper. On the cactus, on the olive tree, on the mail box...

My mean girl stories are all evened out by good times. What about you? Do yours even out?

Giving out thanks

2009-09-08T07:50:00.001-07:00

I would like to thank my husband, mom, and friend from LMC's school for watching Babio. I would like to thank my friend from my OB's office for scaring my half to death with horror stories. I would like to thank my legs, arms and ab muscles for cooperating (I would NOT however like to thank my knees. They suck.). Last, I would like to thank My Endurance for letting me work out 5 days a week for the last 6 weeks. Why am I so thankful this morning? Because these...

Are pre-pregnancy jeans. On first date night with G since we had Babio.

*G would like to thank all of those things too, cause he told me about a hundred times that I looked smokin hot! Thanks mom for watching Babio!

**Disclaimer: Sadly these are the only jeans I can fit into, BUT it gives me the push I need to make the rest fit as well!

Mom Q, in need of an A Updated

2009-09-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

We have a Christmas tradition in my family lovingly dubbed "Going Overboard", where everyone goes a little too far in some way, shape, or form. My Auntie C cooks enough for a small fleet of sailors home from sea, and my Father, well, he buys expensive gifts.

For instance, last year, he bought my (then six year old) LMC an iPod. And since it was small (physically I assume) he threw in a Nintendo DS with some games for good measure (plus a bunch of other little things we cannot remember). Now that is about $400 worth of gifts right there. Reminder: She was six.

For her birthday, which falls two weeks after Christmas, he gave her $200 and took her to the mall. Seriously? I wouldn't let her spend it all. Luckily, she is a tightwad, and she only spent about $40 at the Lego store, saving the rest for "later".

Disclaimer: I am hugely opposed to video games. I let her play her DS occasionally, but this is not an every day or even every week thing. They really drive me crazy... Anyway...

This last Friday she wanted to trade in a few Nintendo DS games for a new one. She brought her extra money in case there was a difference in price. She was responsible. She spent less than $10 after the trade in. I was very proud.

As we were getting home, she was trying out her new game in the car. She didn't want to put it away, so she tried to carry too many things at once. She dropped her DS on the concrete in the garage and broke the touch screen. Completely ruined.

Here is my question... It can be fixed by Nintendo, for $50. I am not forking over that kind of cash to get it fixed. BUT she has the money burning a hole in her piggy bank still. She wants to pay to get it fixed with her own money. That is a lot of dough... Do I let her spend FIFTY FREAKIN BUCKS to get the thing fixed? Is there another solution that I am overlooking? Help!

***UPDATE***
So I decided to let her pay to have it fixed with the money that she already has. BUT, she has to earn money to pay for the shipping. It is only, like $5, but she will have to do a few things to earn it... I think that will teach her a little lesson about earning money while still letting her get it fixed. ALSO, my dad tried to send me home with a HUGE cup full of change for her this weekend, and I told him no. There was easily $70 in there, but I told him that if he wants her to have it that it can go into her college account...

A cause and a cute baby...

2009-09-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

So one of my favorite reads is Jessica Bern because she is freakin hilarious. Seriously. If you don't already read her, stick her in your Reader pronto. She got into ~~her best hair and makeup~~ her Aunt Flo costume and made this video for Seventh Generation. They have a campaign running right now that donates money to the Ovarian Cancer Research fund. All you have to do is register. My grandmother died of ovarian cancer, so GO REGISTER HERE! They don't want your money, just your registration.

******

And then there's him:

Baby O Month 2 from MissM on Vimeo.

The green (toe) monster

2009-08-28T16:17:00.000-07:00

SO you know how some people see something that someone else has and they just HAVE to have it? Like a new cell phone. Your friend gets a new shiny cell phone, and you can't stop thinking about it until you get one too... Yeah, I don't do that.

Except for one thing.

I suffer from Pedicure Envy.

This condition must have manifested as preteen, as most insecurity based afflictions do. (This is the part where I blame someone else for my issue...) My step dad always made fun of my feet. Now, they were not tiny little piggies, like the other girls my age were blessed with. Oh no! They were rapidly growing monsters like the rest of me. Boobs in 3rd grade? Yep. (Horrifying!) A badonk a donk booty to match? Yep. Taller than, well, everyone (well, there was that one kid...) yep! Plus, I have long toes. And yes, the second one IS longer than the first. You want to see? Nope. No way.

So it goes something like this. Walking through grocery store... Spy out of the corner of my little eye a lady in snazzy sandals, sporting an even snazzier pedicure. Envy ignites, and I have to go buy the color pronto. It doesn't help that I am a self proclaimed nail polish snob, and will only buy OPI because it stays on the longest ~~which shouldn't really matter that much because I re-polish them before it ever has a chance to chip~~ .

It's not about the pedicure experience, but the desire to have equally pretty feet, which can, obviously, only be attained by having the same color toe nail polish. Duh. I don't usually go and actually get a pedicure, I just buy the polish and do them myself ~~unless I am pregnant and then all bets are off, I am in the pedicure chair like flies on shit~~ .

So there you have it. I am insecure. Any guesses on what I did today??

Cuteness

2009-08-27T17:22:00.000-07:00

Cleaning house, wiping butt, running all over town... boring, boring, boring... Plus, I have nothing important to say, which implies that I normally have something important to say... not the case. So here's some cuteness!

It should be called Not Employed Superwoman!

2009-08-25T10:24:00.001-07:00

So, to be honest, I thought that when I quit my job to stay at home, that I would have a lot more time on my hands. I thought that I would have time to meet my work friends downtown for lunch, and watch Ellen in the afternoon (because I LOVE Ellen!) and write my blog, and read other people's blogs. I thought I would have time to take the baby to the library to just hand out and read books, maybe go to the coffee shop. And now that I am a stay at home mom? I MUST HAVE BEEN SMOKING CRACK! I don't have time to do squat! (except real squats. I have time to do those. because... Jeans! )

Between nursing this baby:

(I can't help it! He is so freaking cute! You know you can't wait until I post the month 2 video!!) and wiping his cute butt, and feeding the rest of my family... Throw in a little house cleaning and working out? I have no more free time. So Stay at Home Moms of the world? I get it!

Total subject change!
I was a little worried at first that my husband was going to be one of those dads that never changes a dirty diaper. Seriously. At first, when he would hold Babio and he would cry, my husband would get this look on his face that meant "OK, I'm done, you take him back now!"

BUT! Last week, I had a school function for LMC, and Babio and hubby stayed home together and did well. Then the next night, he asked if he could keep him while I took LMC to swim practice (which I took as an invitation to hit the treadmill during said practice!). They survived again. They have had several times alone since then, (including a few diaper changes for the record books) and my husband LOVES it!

He even told me about "the coolest diaper change ever!" then proceeded to go into detail about the oozing poop.

Sweet relief!

Introspection via Deb

2009-08-19T15:28:00.000-07:00

Who are you? I am a young mother. A college graduate. I am scared of what it typically means to get old. I am happily married and in love with my husband. I am grateful for the wonderful life that I have and the people in it. I am proud of my daughter. I am hopeful for the future of my country. I am eager to travel with my family. I am unsettled in my current physical location. I am content.

Where did you come from? I came from two people married young. I came from average means with an above average heart. I came from hard work. I am here now.

Where are you going? I am going on a lifelong journey with my family. I am going to be the best spouse, mother, teacher, child, human that I can be. I am going. Always going.

Who needs BlogHer?

2009-08-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

So, last week Babio and I went with my husband to San Diego while he worked. While he was slaving away in the lab, we were lounging be the beach

and hanging out with bloggers. And these bloggers? Were the coolest group of women I have ever met. Seriously. I have never felt so welcome by so many women before... They went out of their way, were kind, held my baby drove me to and from get togethers, and fed me. Throughout the week, we saw Jenn, Cheri and her adorable daughter Laura, Katy and her handsome sailor, Aaryn and her beautiful little girl, Jamie and her darling twins, Deb and her sweet little blonde babes, Mel, Debbie and her very cute sister, Smalltown Mom, and She. Wow!!

Thank you ladies, for a simply wonderful time!!

P.S. If you took pictures, I would love to see them :)

I have never done this before...

2009-08-13T11:02:00.000-07:00

This adorable girl tagged me to identify 5 things that make me feel sexy. I thought, sexy? What is that? Sex-eee? I currently feel Motherly, not sexy, but after a bit of thought (deep into my memory from about a year ago) I pulled out these:

1. Intelligent conversation. Smart IS so sexy.
2. My husband. He makes me feel sexy. Look at him!

(one of my favorite photos of us, even though we are involved in two different conversations)
3. Exercise. It always sounds so boring, but afterward, it feels so liberating... endorphins anyone?
4. It sounds silly, but the sexiest I have ever felt was traveling to Italy. Maybe it was the freedom of the experience, but it was sexy, sexy, sexy! (it also could have been the copious amounts of wine and Italian leather boots, or possibly the world's sexiest men speaking the world's sexiest language, I could continue...)
5. Making people laugh.

I always feel guilty naming names, so consider yourself tagged... GO! Think sexy!

Because they are cuter than me...

2009-08-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

LMC got new hair for school starting!

My camera skills SUCK lately! Kinda like my one handed blogging skills. Not so great...

6 random things for Sunday night

2009-08-09T19:47:00.000-07:00

*** How do you pack for an infant? Well, I hope I did it right because I am leaving in the morning for San Diego. With a zillion onesies... because, spitup!

*** How do you pack to go out of town when you only have, like 4 things that fit? Carefully. And hope for no spitup.

*** What made me book a flight that will land 2 hours before my husband can pick me up? There are no excuses. I am reasonably well rested (see next) and moderately intelligent. Starbucks, here we come...

*** Babio slept for 6 hours and 40 minutes last night before getting up to eat. I'm hoping this is a trend.

*** Tomorrow is LMC's first day of school. She is SO excited, and I will probably cry after I drop her off. I can't believe summer is over!

*** My next post will come from the beach.

Really, it's about the pants...

2009-08-06T17:03:00.000-07:00

So what happens when a momma is trying to lose her baby weight ~~all 45 freakin pounds~~, and she is doing a really good job of exercising and ~~not eating ice cream~~ eating healthy and the baby won't sleep for that momma to work out?

And the momma is on day 6 of Jillian's 30 day shred and is really bored of Jilllian, so she puts on the Tae Bo video with the really annoying black man in the REALLY tight spandex outfit instead because the baby is too small to go to the daycare at the gym and it's too hot to run outside, but the baby won't sleep for the momma to break a sweat.

So finally the momma gets the baby to sleep in the play yard right next to the momma and starts the video but without the sound because ~~dammit momma's pants still don't fit~~ the baby needs his beauty sleep, but the momma cannot work out without music so the momma puts her iPod headphones in on the workout playlist and works out to a VERY different beat than Billy Blanks and laughs when Hannah Montana's "Ice Cream Freeze" comes on and it is all she can do to not "do the shake shake" and "shake it down low" like the Hannah Montana is telling her to, instead she punches and kicks off beat and since the baby didn't wake up she throws Jilllian on for good measure.

Cause her pants still don't fit.

Feed that baby!

2009-08-04T09:15:00.000-07:00

Guess what? It's National Breastfeeding Week! Who knew? Apparently Daphne Brogden did because I read it there. Woohoo!!

I must be doing a good job because my little man is getting nice and chubby...

As a breastfeeding mom, I get the occasional "look" when I nurse my baby in public. And I understand. I really do. It simply makes some people uncomfortable for you boob to be hanging out. Some people are just made uncomfortable by it. I try to cover up, but babies are wiggly, and there is an occasional boob sighting. I am certainly not going to hang out in a bathroom stall for my baby to eat so a stranger is made more comfortable. They can just NOT look.

Whether you do or don't, just don't tell me I can't.

Nothing Like A Good Vibr@tor

2009-08-03T19:10:00.000-07:00

A vibr@ting chair! What did you think I was talking about!

Little peanut got a shot today and was grouchy and I put batteries in the vibr@ting chair and POOF! all better!

The same thing works for his daddy.

He approved of the vibr@ting chairs at the wild anilam park. Totally worth the $.25!!! (seriously. worth it.)

P.S. Don't tell him that I put his picture in the vibr@ting chair on my blog... Just give him that look that says "I know about you"... He doesn't read so he'll never know...

Momma got a new toy, and so did daddy

2009-08-02T16:05:00.000-07:00

Not THAT kind of toy! Get your minds out of the gutter peeps!

Let me put you to sleep with some talk about my new toy. I ~~scammed~~ ~~begged~~ asked my husband nicely if we could buy ~~the Cadillac of strollers~~ this very nice stroller to push our little peanut around in. I used talk like "he can use it for so long" and "good value for money" (a favorite in his British mind) and "it's really not that expensive if you consider how often it will be used"...

And since he had just bough himself ~~a much more ridiculous toy with a freakin turbo charged engine~~ a very nice family car ~~yeah right, like a family car give whiplash when you hit the gas~~ he said yes. His toy (squint and pretend it is black):

my toy:

BOB stroller! Woohoo!!

**P.S. I don't feel bad about buying an expensive stroller because we didn't really buy anything else for baby that was above average, and we got a lot of items used from family and friends that had recently had babies. We didn't even have to buy a crib...

How did I Screw That Up??

2009-08-01T14:08:00.000-07:00

1. I didn't know I was supposed to write "100 things about me" post for my 100th post until Jenn saved my life and told me.
2. Now I know.
3. Oops
4. I pretty much have no fashion sense, so my entire wardrobe basically consists of solid colors.
5. I love self deprecating humor.
6. I think chivalry is cool.
7. Having things to look forward to keeps me going.
8. I am a huge fan of text messages, email, mail, phone calls (really communication of any kind).
9. My favorite nail polish is "I'm Not Really A Waitress" by OPI
10. My second favorite nail polish is "Lincoln Park After Dark" by OPI
11. I am a self-proclaimed nail polish snob.
12. I am typing this silly list with one hand
13. and nursing my baby with the other.
14. I secretly want a gay husband in addition to my straight one.
15. I can’t tell a joke to save my life.
16. Mostly because I start to laugh before the punch line, which is a surefire way to kill a joke.
17. But, I LOVE dirty jokes
18. Speaking of dirty, Dirty Dancing is one of my favorite movies of all time.
19. My mom let me watch it WAY too young though.
20. Mom, what were you smoking???
21. I adore a man with an accent.
22. So I married one
23. I love old things.
24. Old movies
25. Old buildings
26. Old records
27. Funny old people
28. Old family photos
29. Old "Will and Grace" episodes
30. Old purses (I have lots of these from my deceased grandmothers)
31. I have only been out of the country (besides Rocky Point) once.
32. When my husband took me to Italy.
33. When we got back he put a ring on my finger. I passed the vacation test.
34. Second favorite movie of all time? Mary Poppins.
35. I perfected my British accent by watching that movie over and over.
36. I watched the VHS so many times I broke it.
37. I want it on BluRay
38. but it hasn’t come out yet.
39. Passive aggressive pisses me off.
40. I’m scared that I will go bald.
41. I have a 7 year old daughter .
42. I got pregnant with her when I should have been at my senior prom.
43. Oops.
44. She is seriously awesome though.
45. I miss her when she goes to her dads.
46. I HATE my custody situation
47. and there is nothing I can do about it.
48. well, nothing legal anyway…
49. Just kidding!!
50. And I have an almost 5 week old son .
51. He is the bees knees.
52. Right up there with his sister.
53. I am really scared of the teenage years.
54. I really like taking pictures.
55. And I want a new camera for Christmas.
56. A really good one.
57. Also, I totally have ADD.
58. Which means that I suck at relaxing
59. and living in the moment.
60. I have to FORCE myself to relax.
61. And live in the moment.
62. My husband and I lived apart for the first 2 years of our relationship.
63. Not “separate apartments” apart…
64. Separate states.
65. He moved to mine to be with me.
66. But we both like his better.
67. I hardly ever wear shoes that aren’t flip flops.
68. Even in the winter.
69. Unless it is date night or gym time.
70. I secretly love Loud "guy movies" that involve natural disasters, explosions, car chases…
71. But don’t tell my husband.
72. My husband does not understand my undying love for Target.
73. There is something sacred about the cold side of the pillow.
74. I am scared of public school.
75. Does that make me a bad person?
76. It’s just that our public schools here are really awful!
77. I went to public school.
78. I played the violin for 10 years.
79. I was really good.
80. I miss it a lot and want to start to play again.
81. But I would need a teacher because I forgot so much.
82. I should quit making excuses and just do it. Pansy.
83. My cabana boy of choice is Jason Statham.
84. Again, it’s the accent.
85. I have never met my in-laws.
86. I hope to meet them in the fall.
87. They live in England.
88. This post is less and less about me…
89. My college degree makes me feel smart.
90. It is in Molecular biosciences and biotechnology
91. I want my Master’s degree.
92. I’m really not that smart, so don’t let the degree talk fool you.
93. I miss my job (just a little) but I like my son better.
94. I am divorced.
95. About once every few months I lose my cool and write a mean post about my ex-husband.
96. Usually in relation to his (lack of) parenting skills.
97. I love cheese.
98. I am a democrat.
99. I love Barack Obama!
100. There has to be a 101st think because I screwed up the first 100th post.
101. Oops.

100th POST!!

2009-08-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

I wasn't sure I'd make it to 100 when I started. It felt harder at first, and now it is much easier. I'm happy I stuck out the first few weeks that sucked. Having readers helped too. Thank you guys!!!

Also, to all my San Diego peeps, Babio and I will be in SD the week of August 10th if you want to get together for lunch, coffee, or fun times sitting under a tree in a park. If you only want to meet me because of my cute baby, I totally understand. We are basically free all week. The goal is to take walks outside, since we can't in Phoenix :)

Month One with a sad video attempt

2009-07-30T10:03:00.000-07:00

OK, so I am not a total imbecile when it comes to tech stuff, but I am no genius either. I spent 3 days of sleeping baby time trying to get this the way that I wanted it. It still is not right (the audio would not stay... damn YouTube) and it was too big to just upload into a post... Let's hope Month Two's video goes smoother!!

In any case, Babio is one month old now, and here are the pics to prove it.

The Facebook Song

2009-07-29T18:29:00.000-07:00

So good! But wear headphones... Lots of F words :)

P.S. Yes, I totally got this off of Mighty Girls page, but due to it's coolness, I had to repost it. Don't Judge.

How nursing made me smarter

2009-07-25T12:13:00.000-07:00

I get up in the middle of the night to nurse Babio. Our mid night routine takes about 40 minutes each time, and on most nights, we get up twice. (Not "most nights" suck btw). That means I have 80 minutes of mid night time to watch smut TV. It is shameless, but I have gotten smarter because of it. Really. Did you know that you can teach your baby to read? Well, you would if you watched the infomercial telling you that if you buy their special program YOU can teach your baby to read. Funny that they don't ever tell you how it works...

Oh, and E! True Hollywood Stories are very informative! I learned that J-Lo was married before the teeny latin singer AND the backup dancer! I also learned that Kim Kardashian was married and divorced, that she made a very Paris Hilton-ish sex tape, AND that she actually had a job as a stylist to other celebrities. Who knew? Not me. And I also learned that I love Heidi Klum. Did you know that she was the winner of a modeling contest in Germany, and that is how she got her start? Also, she was pregnant with another man's baby when she started dating Seal and he loves her anyway and the baby like she is his own baby? And that she is totally silly and adorable.

I am also slightly embarrassed to admit that I love "Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood". I used to really not like her, but then in a pregnancy induced haze I watched a season 2 marathon, and now I am hooked. And her family is really cute. Did you see the last episode? The one where Bill and Scout, the Guncles, got married? yeah, I totally cried.

I have Babio and my DVR to thank or my new found celebrity knowledge. Who needs a Master's degree anyway?

About yesterday, and why I am slow today

2009-07-23T11:52:00.000-07:00

*The first time I hit publish, I totally forgot a title. Nerd!

So I was all set to write a funny post today, then my angel baby that had been sleeping for 3 hours at a time every night, decided that last night, he would PLAY between midnight and 3am, you know, cause 3am is play time and all. (run on sentence. oops) Point? My brain doesn't work for much besides an E! True Hollywood Story about Heidi Klum right now...

Yesterday was the culmination of LMC's Summer Arts Academy and they had a performance in the evening. Coinciding with grouchy hour at my house. He has been better, but he is still not himself at that time. So we chilled in the back with the other babies and stepped out every 15 minutes or so to nurse. Plus we got home way later than normal. BUT, the performance was great! LMC was so good on stage! I will post some video as soon as my stepdad gets it to me (which really means never because I don't think he knows how to get it off his video camera, so this picture of her made up face will have to do. Also? Makeup was required, I am not crazy. Even the boys had to wear stage makeup.) She was a total ham on stage and remembered all her little moves. My favorite was their modern dancing and reenactment of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Also yesterday, I met up with my friend Jenn that I hadn't seen in a long time. Do you have those friends that even though you haven't seen each other in, like, 2 years, that it doesn't feel weird? Yeah, she's one of mine. We had a really good time and her babies are super cute. I played with her 2 month old and he felt HUGE compared to my little guy.

#94

2009-07-21T18:48:00.000-07:00

Now I know that we are in a recession. I know that many people have lost jobs, and homes and cars. But dammit, I want my library back! I don't want to be #94 on the holds list. I want my library to have new books again. I am well aware that I sound a bit like a whiny baby, but I don't like to buy books. I am not cheap, and I buy certain authors whose books I know I will read more than once, (ie. David Sedaris whom I adore!) but my husband has more books than our bookshelves can hold already. The problem is that when a book is boring, I don't finish it. So I can't justify buying a book that is potentially going to put me to sleep. So I go to the library. Except now I don't. I don't even make it there now because I AM NUMBER 94 ON THE HOLDS LIST. The internet told me. Saved me from getting there and feeling the defeat of being NUMBER 94! Also, #70 on another book's hold list. There needs to be a cool book exchange program out there. Actually, there probably already is one, but I am so sheltered that I don't know about it.

Oh, and in my Google Reader this morning? 94 unread items. When I woke up? 94 degrees outside. (yes, in the morning. It's 106 now... Damn Desert.)

Amor con queso

2009-07-21T09:03:00.000-07:00

I have been a bit MIA lately because

and because this whole staying inside thing is leaving me a bit depressed. I feel like my funny went on vacation and left me at home.

Anyway, I posted about my grouchy little Babio, and got good suggestions. I also googled "breastfeeding foods give baby gas" and discovered that dairy and cheese cause baby gas. And internet, I love cheese. My arteries hate me for my love of cheese. Cheese kept me plump when I was a vegetarian for many years. We have had a lovely little love affair, cheese and I. So I must really love my little man, because, I gave up cheese and most dairy to try and make him feel better. And for two nights? He has been fine. Not rainbows and butterflies fine, but not fists clenched, legs pumping, red faced, needs a reminder to breathe pissed off like before. So, it seems that my relationship with cheese has taken a back seat to my little gurgling babe. It's ok though cheese, I'll be back for you one day. Will wait for me?

Hey moms! Well, and dads too...

2009-07-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

What's up with my little guy being a super grouch every evening? His little internal clock tells him that every night at 6 or 7 that he should turn into a major fuss ball. Anybody know why? My mom radar says maybe it's gas, but other than that, I have nothing...

Not about me at all! I finally have something else to talk about.

2009-07-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

I am starting to think that that our house is a cover up. You know, like in Weeds where she starts a fake business as a cover for her drug business. Except without the drugs. I think we are secretly a bunny factory. Let me start at the beginning.

When we first moved in we saw a regular sized bunny on our lawn. Much like the bunnies that we see all over our neighbor's lawns. Nothing out of the ordinary. It looked like this:

Cute furry butt, long ears.

Next my husband came running to the back door with his hands cupped to show me somehting. I assumed it was a hurt bird because we have really stupid doves that fly into our windows all the time. But no. It was a tiny little baby bunny. Hubs told me we had to put him back.

Then we found a dead baby bunny in the pool. He looked like this:

Only dead. And wet. I was pregnant still and it made me cry.

A few weeks later we found ANOTHER one in the pool. Hubs fished it out, but didn't put it in the trash. It sat next to the pool for a day and a half. It's poor mommy! I cried again.

THEN... The landscapers found this little booger.
Remember Nigel?

Well, it turns out Nigel was a Nigella, but whatever. Nigel ate lettuce out of my hand

and cleaned his face.

But then Nigel got too big for his cage.

So when I came home from having Babio, we put him in the backyard. I cried AGAIN. He figured it out really quickly, and he is still out there. Apparently WITH HIS FRIENDS.

There are MORE BABY BUNNIES! Like this one behind the patio furniture.

So you see, we aren't a regular house at all. We are a bunny factory. Cause those bunnies sure know how to procreate. They do it like rabbits!

I got a 20 minute break!

2009-07-14T09:55:00.001-07:00

I can write a post because Baby is doing this:

*** The person that told me that breastfed babies don't spit up? Liar. You know who you are. I may not remember who you are, but I hope you feel guilty, because my breastfed baby TOTALLY SPITS UP. Every. single. time. he. eats. I burp him, and the sounds that come out of his little body sound like those of a burping contest at a frat party. Burp cloths are insufficient. We change outfits a LOT. I tried the bib, but it flows past the bib and right onto the onesie like lava out of a volcano.

*** Hubs had to go to San Diego for a few days to do some work, so I encouraged him to take an extra day and go sailing with one of his friends. He is a total outdoors man, and the heat here in Phoenix makes it so he is stuck inside a lot. Plus, we both totally miss the ocean. He had a blast, and I'm glad he went, but I'm a little jealous. I really want to go outside and take this little baby for a walk. Not around the mall, outside. Even at night, it is in the high 90's... Good thing we are planning on going to SD at the end of the month as a family!

*** This is my husband's idea of a joke...

*** Is it me or do his toes look like little tiny mini Hershey's kisses from the bottom?

From the top, they are just pure adorableness... He has dry skin on his hands and feet, he needs a mani and a pedi.

*** Also, he found his voice.

*** And he loves his binky.

P.S. I have been watching the Tour de France, and I am totally addicted! Thanks a lot hubs!

A long post about chilbirth, with a bunch of random details thrown in

2009-07-08T12:13:00.000-07:00

So I sat down today with my little man in his sling (use of both arms!! Hey, did you know in a pinch, you can go pee while wearing your sleeping baby? Hello! Awesome!) and started to write out how my birth went. Then my mind and my browser wandered over to this guy's wife's childbirth story and, holy cow, mine is way boring after reading that. Seriously, go read it if you haven't. She is a rockstar. So here it is... and if hearing about my cervix will gross you out, come back tomorrow.

I went in to be induced twice the previous week. They wanted to move it along slowly, which in hindsight I am very happy with. But both times they sent me home because labor was not moving along and rushing it could complicate things.

Monday night I was scheduled to have the real induction. The one where they do not send you home. But then they called me and said that the hospital was full.

I went to bed, and woke up at midnight with some pain and bleeding, so we went in to the hospital anyway...

They said that I was having irregular labor contractions, but go ahead and go back home, bleeding was nothing... Only dilated to 3cm anyhow...

We were packing up to go home and they said, hey wait, we have room to induce you now if you want to stay. So we were going to stay. Stay. Just kidding, Go. No really, Stay. Go. For real, Stay. They are lucky I'm patient!

They were going to do a 12 hour process that you can usually sleep through, so I sent my hubby home to get some real sleep thinking that I would for sure need him clear headed the next morning. Of course, after I sent him home, and before they started the induction process, I started having contractions every 5 minutes. I knew I needed a hand to squeeze, so I called my cousin (labor coach on call to take the pressure off my husband) about 4am. She has 2 kids and had one rough labor so she was a perfect pick.

We walked the halls for an hour stopping every 3 minutes to hunch over a chair and breath deeply through my contractions.

At about 5am, my contractions were really strong and I was about 5 cm. I called my husband and my mom in. My husband was really nervous at first. He had never seen me in so much pain, trying to breath through it and keep it under control. One time I lost control and started crying, and couldn't get it back under control. I didn't make that mistake again.

At about 7am and 7cm (I think he must have planned that btw, smart little booger) I wanted an epidural. My contractions were stronger and my cervix wasn't changing, so the doctor broke my water. I got my epidural shortly after and took a rest.

And I brushed my teeth from bed.

Then, at 10:30 the nurse said that I was ready to push, and I felt ready to push! (Women who pushed a long time: Please don't hate me for the next sentence!) I pushed through 2 contractions and he was born at 10:52!

And here he is today...

I think his eyes are changing color... They started out blue, and since neither of us have blue eyes, his choices are hazel or brown... What will it be?

Baby is a week old today!

2009-07-07T12:24:00.001-07:00

Because I know you care, my boobs aren't as big as my head anymore.

Also, if I am not responding to an email or comment... blame him and this action:

After he does that, he ususally does this:

And today I figured out that if I put him in the sling, that I have the use of both of my hands! Plus he likes it:

I can make a sandwich! I can load the dishwasher and do a load of laundry! AND FOLD IT! I still can't clean toilets ~~thank god!~~ sadly.

Luckily he also likes the swing so I stick it in the bathroom and take a shower, but he won't give me enough time to wash my hair. It is starting to smell a little funky. Maybe I should be doing that instead of blogging, huh?

My daughter came back from her dads yesterday, and she is getting used to having to share me. She likes to hold him, and thinks his feet are cute. Wail till she sees that I can use both hands again!

Don't judge the writing skills. Baby coma.

2009-07-04T11:58:00.000-07:00

I am writing this while pumping breast milk, because my milk came in the other day, and my boobs are the size of my head. Each one. I am totally serious. I have always had big boobs, and I think I remember this happening with my daughter, but WOW! And also, ouch. Poor little guy couldn't really get a grip cause they were so huge last night. I could seriously feed 3 babies with these monsters. So I pump. I can't think of anything less attractive that this sight, but you know, antibodies... IQ... blah blah blah...

Then there's this...

And this:

And these parts:

And drunk on breast milk:

It's a good thing you can't smell through my blog, cause you would smell spit up. Cause that stain on his shirt, and all over me? Smelly!

I hovered for, like 5 minutes for this one because obviously worth it!

But I am ready for her to come home because I miss her!

He's finally here!

2009-07-02T14:12:00.000-07:00

Born Tuesday, June 30, 2009 at 10:42am
9lbs 7oz, 22 inches long...

Proud big sister!

May this be the last

2009-06-27T18:16:00.000-07:00

May this be the last pregnancy picture I have to post. My due date was yesterday, and were hoping to induce as soon as the hospital has room for me...

Officially 40 weeks...

I didn't even have to beg...

2009-06-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

Even though I'm a former vegetarian, my husband rocks for making this for dinner so I don't have to lift a finger until this kid comes out. Amen!

Frozen rant

2009-06-26T15:40:00.000-07:00

Being overly pregnant, I made my child go with me to get frozen yogurt today. We went to a new place that is kind of self serve, where you pay by the ounce. The high school girl that worked there was nice and let us try a few flavors before we decided on one that we wanted. It was really yummy!

Anyway, while we were sitting there eating our exotic flavored frozen yogurt we watched 3 separate groups of preteens come in, try several flavors each, and then leave without buying anything. By the third group, I was handing out my evil eye... How is that little yogurt shop going to stay in business with gaggles of kids in there taking taste after taste and then leaving without buying anything? Where are their parents? And why does the manager let them do that?

Isn't the whole point of trying flavors to figure out which one you would like to BUY? My daughter got a lecture about why what they were doing was wrong (sorry kiddo!)... If you can't buy something, you can't taste it then either... I know it's hot out, but dude, buy something then!

Update

2009-06-25T12:20:00.000-07:00

I thought the whole point of inducing labor in a pregnant woman was to MAKE THE BABY BE BORN, but apparently I was wrong. I went in for induction on Tuesday after my ultrasound indicating that I am carrying a ~~toddler around with a ginormous head~~ very large baby in my belly. After doing "gels" (trust me, if you don't already know what they are, you don't really want to ask. It's gross.) for 6 hours, and only getting things moving another centimeter... they sent me home. Feeling rather defeated. Apparently I wasn't progressing enough. Progressing, isn't that the whole point of induction? Plus, My daughter was induced, and I already know that I respond well to things other than gels. Nobody wanted to listen to me.

Yes, I know, he'll come when he's ready. But! He might be so comfy in there that he isn't ready until he's supposed to be starting kindergarten. I made him too comfortable. I have a comfortable uterus. Who knew I was such a catch?

So they told me to come back this afternoon. That we would "try again". Excuse me, but who's this "we"?? Hubs happily* sat in the corner on his laptop doing work while I waited, and then paced the halls with me, but his nether regions were free and clear of invasion every hour... So this we? Is me.

My cousin told me that she cried when her induction was moving slowly and they didn't send her home... I CAN cry on command. Hubs said to turn on the waterworks. He wants to meet his son.

OH! And my daughter came back from France! It only took them 2 days to get back instead of 4 like on the way there. She was really happy to sleep in her own bed she said. She took some cute and silly pictures I will post later. Her favorite part was the croissants. And "that Arch thingy"...

*Hubs had to put his headphones on when a lady came in in active, very vocal, labor. His eyes were like saucers! He is in for such a surprise!

Trip down memory lane, well someone's memory...

2009-06-22T07:57:00.000-07:00

I spent a lot of time over the weekend scanning old photographs into my computer. Some of them I got from my parents, but others are from my Nana when she passed away...

There are some really cool ones of my dad as a child

and as a teenager

and apparently someone went to Disneyland in July of 1967

and ones of my parents playing battleship, look at the gams on my Mom! Whew!

And Mom and Daddy got married, Daddy has some serious hair...

and there are some of me as a and little girl...

I was a blonde with curls!

Halloween costume when I was 3 years old, I think I had some Holiday confusion.

There are also hundreds of pictures from when my daughter was little... Those deserve their own post though :)

Daddy gets some PR

2009-06-19T05:51:00.000-07:00

All I have to say is OH. MY. GOD.

Adieu mon amour

2009-06-18T12:13:00.000-07:00

I think that says "goodbye my love" but I don't speak a word of French, so...

Earlier in the week I posted that my daughter was going to France with her dad and her grandpa. I even went so far as to day that they "go on vacation well together" in a comment on a comment. That is proving not so true as there were a few bumps along the road to getting there though.

The first problem is that her dad is an airline employee so they fly for free. Which in theory sounds nice. Which also means that they fly standby. Which means that they often sit in airports for hours and hours. She is 7. This means extreme boredom. I can't get her to sit still to braid her hair. Imagine being stuck in an airport for 10 hours or more.

Bump #1, they couldn't get the first flight of their trip. Either because the flight was full or because they missed it, I will never know which for sure.

Her dad is a little unorganized and last minute. OK, so that is a huge understatement. He is late for literally everything. For him to be on time is a big deal. My daughter actually said that we should be really late for him one say so he knows what it feels like to have to sit around and wait for him all the time. He is one of those people that think that a 45 minute task takes 10 minutes. So when I talked to my daughter at 10pm and she was on her way to the airport for a 10:30pm red eye flight, I was not really surprised. They get to go through the staff security line, so that speeds things up, but really? 30 minutes?

Bump #2 He lost his passport.

Back to unorganized. Apparently in Philly (their 2nd stop since they had to go to LA to get to Philly) you can get a passport in a few hours. She sat in a coffee shop with her grandpa for 3 hours while he got a replacement passport. Boring!

Bump #3 they couldn't get on the flight to Paris from Philly.

They ended up staying 2 nights in Philly instead of 1 because they couldn't get on the flight to Paris.

Now, if I were stuck in Philly, I would drag my family to see the historic stuff like the Liberty bell. She said they didn't do any of that though.

PLUS, she is really anxious about the impending birth of her brother. She wanted to see Paris, but she also wanted to meet her little brother. His timing is really awful, taking her on vacation the week I am expecting her sibling to be born.

Basically, they finally got there late last night, but at what cost? Almost a whole week in and out of airports waiting for flights instead of just buying a ticket? Although in the end she got to fly first class. Across the pond. They have to turn around and come back in a few days. (I swapped some of my time with him so they could go). This has happened on a smaller scale before, he gets stuck somewhere and picks her up a day late. And while she loves her dad, she already knows which parent is more reliable and organized, from observation alone. Also, she is never going to eat my crepes again after going to France... I am positive I can't beat that.

So while it started off rough, it seems to be going a little better. Lets hope the travel home is smoother than getting there...

*I spoke to her just now and she said that the croissant and the nap has been her favorite part (because she couldn't sleep on the plane). Hello? First class to Paris? I wouldn't be able to sleep either! Lucky girl!!! I'm so excited for her!

Hold the Mayo

2009-06-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

My husband always ends up with the wrong food. Since I can remember this has been a problem. He order ham and cheese and they bring him tuna salad. He orders salmon, and gets halibut. Sometimes he orders something on the side, and it comes on top. It seems like every time we eat out, there is something funky about his order. Loud or quiet, breakfast or dinner, busy or slow. About the only thing that is consistently correct is his cocktail.

Some days he just sends it back and asks for the correct thing, but if you get him on a particularly grouchy day or if he is really hungry, he gets snippy with the server/ counter person.

He has been in the US for about 20 years, but he still has a British accent. Not a strong one though. People often ask if he's Australian and not British. It's really obvious when he orders water. It is more "whoa-tah" than "wah-ter". When they ask 3 times I usually jump in with an American "wah-ter" to clarify.

His Starbuck cup has had every possible mistake of his name. He has a particularly common name for his age group, and it really only has one spelling. Yet, somehow that is often wrong as well. (*Funny side note, it was discovered at work that we were dating because we had gotten Starbucks on the way into the lab, and they put HIS name on MY cup and I didn't notice. I love that story.)

Does this happen to anyone else? Can you be plagued with always getting the wrong food? Maybe we should just eat at home more. Wait, that is really boring, and I can't cook half the things we go out for. Maybe I should do the ordering from now on... As a test you know...

Pregnancy Montage

2009-06-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

This guy takes REALLY cute pictures of his wife who is almost as pregnant as me. He is a WAY better photographer than me, but here goes...

At some point, my husband pointed out that I look really grouchy in my pregnancy pictures, so I tried not to scowl. The scowl is pure concentration, and not disgust with being pregnant.

Today (39 weeks):

I go for an ultrasound to measure his size in the morning. My OB said that he is measuring a bit large for 39 weeks, and I am not keen on pushing out a 10 lb. baby, so if he is looking big, we may induce. My daughter was born at 37 weeks and was 7 1/2 lbs. so apparently my body makes babies efficiently... I will update as I know more.

Thank you for all your support! When I started writing this blog, I never really imagined that I would have regular readers. It means a lot to me!

*UPDATE

I went for an ultrasound this morning, and boy does that boy have a big head!! They estimated that he is 8lbs 8oz (which could be off, they are never right on), and that his head is rather large. My husband and I both have kinda large heads so that is no problem, well, except for the whole childbirth bit. Details. I go to the Doctor Friday, and we will discuss options at that point. I don't really like the idea of inducing, but I am open to it...

I'm boring

2009-06-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

Do you watch golf? Yeah, me neither. But you know that running commentary that the PGA Tour announcers have? That is what summer vacation before Arts Academy starts up is like with my daughter.

Today at the store:
Mommy, look at the TVs.
Mommy, I have a question.
Mommy, they have camcorders.
Mommy, ...
Mommy, ...
Mommy, ...
Mommy, ...

At home, when asked to tell my husband coffee was ready:
Mommy, I told him.
He's coming out of the office.
He's coming into the kitchen.
He's here.

I even got a "Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom." WHILE WE WERE AT HOME. I gave her permission to go and reminded her that she does NOT need my permission to pee. At home. Ever.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my child, but she has more energy than I could possibly keep up with if I had my own personal barista in my kitchen feeding me lattes all day. This is why I love Arts Academy. She loves it and gets to dance, sing, ceramic, photograph, tap, and act her little ~~crazily energetic~~ heart out. And I don't have to keep asking her to hold on, wait a sec, please stop talking, go away for 5 minutes, and get out of the bathroom so I don't have an audience while I do my business. The question about Bakugan can wait till I come out of the tinkler!

I know she needs to get her wiggles out. She only has one friend in walking distance from our house, and there are only so many play dates that I can make without just coming out and asking the other parents if I can HAVE THEIR CHILDREN LIVE HERE. This is why I cannot wait for Arts Academy to start in a few weeks. First she has to live through a trip to France with her dad... That's next week. Yes I am nervous.

Let's just have a baby already!

2009-06-09T14:34:00.000-07:00

So if you follow me on Twitter (for the very occasional tweet) you know that yesterday I tried to trick my unborn child into being born by having birthday cake ice cream. Cause he might think it was his birthday. Or something. I also tried walking. A lot.

Today, I tried something more subtle. Not that it gets more subtle than using your unborn baby as an excuse to eat ice cream... Today I thought, maybe, just maybe, if I let him know that I am ready for him by washing my hair and polishing my nails he will be born. So I did. See?

I also have a bag packed, clean sheets on my bed, a clean house and a nursery. Oh, and yesterday I conned my mom into giving me a facial. I even made my husband read baby books so he doesn't do something stupid like poke his finger into the top of the little guy's head. Not that he would randomly poke his baby's head, but you know, just in case.

Now that I'm 38 weeks pregnant, I am really ready to be not pregnant anymore and I swear, if one more person tells me to drink caster oil, I might lose it. I read about the other side effect caster oil has on people, and I do not like that particular side effect. If you don't know, it makes you poo. Laxative style. Not a fan! I haven't completely ruled it out, but I am not at the point of desperation. Maybe next week...

Pregnancy Illusion

2009-06-05T09:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to the Dr. for a checkup. I was feeling very proud of myself again because the last few times I have gone, my weight gain for this pregnancy seemed to have slowed down. Then on the way home, I realized my weight gain isn't slowing at all! My Dr.'s appointments are just CLOSER TOGETHER!

It's just pineapple!!!

2009-06-02T18:09:00.000-07:00

My Girl (reading grocery list from backseat): Mom, why is there a question mark next to the pineapple on your grocery list?

Me: Because if they don't have the pineapple that is already cut up I am not going to buy any.

Girl: Why not? You can cut up a regular pineapple.

Me: Because I don't feel like cutting one up at this point. It's hot, I'm pregnant, I just want the already cut up pineapple.

Girl: You can buy the kind that comes in a can that is cut up.

Me: I want the fresh cut up pineapple. Not the canned kind, not the regular whole fresh pineapple. The fresh cut up kind.

Girl: What if it's really expensive?

Me: I don't know! That's why there is a question mark next to it! Please stop asking me so many questions that I don't have answers for!

Damn heat. Makes me a little snappy... I mean, c'mon, it's just pineapple...

Lots of adorable-ness and a belly shot with a bunny...

2009-06-02T12:04:00.000-07:00

First, whats up with all these picture posts lately? All I have to say is that I'm 9 months pregnant, and I have zero imagination left for words. But cuteness and cleaning still speak to me so I am left here with cuteness.

Have you ever seen something so cute?? I mean, look at those eyelashes. He is seriously adorable.

And when he eats? He can devour a whole piece of lettuce in, like, 30 seconds...

And then there's her:

Yes, My 7 year old daughter is getting a facial. But those hands GIVING her the facial belong to my mother, and I got many facials from those hands when I was her age. Oh wait, I am totally spoiling my kid... look what else we did...

We got pedicures. But I blame that on this:

I can't do my own toes anymore. Really, I can't. And my husband said to me the onther day "honey, what are these rough bits on your feet?" and I said that I can't reach them in the shower to pumice them anymore and he said, "well go get them done at the salon". So I did. And I took the kiddo with me, cause my mom wouldn't go (just teasing mom!!). And the Nigel the Bunny wanted to be in the photo too, so I let him. I'm a pushover.

2009-05-27T16:22:00.000-07:00

This is my dad. Actually he's really my daddy. Even though I am a grown woman, and even when I am not asking for a favor. Yesterday was his Birthday.

He plays the guitar like Jimmy Page AND Eric Clapton. Really. It's awesome. He is a total workaholic, and he is ridiculously unselfish for his children. He is a junior high teacher (bless his soul). His years of being an entertainer have given him the ability to have a one liner for EVERY situation. Appropriate or not. He tends to side with the guy that has the conspiracy theory. Oh, and he UNregistered as a Republican.

You'd think that I like him a little.

This man has one fake knee, and another in need of replacement, but does he tell her that he can't carry her? Nope.

We were at Disneyland, and he bought this parasol for my daughter, then pretended that it was his for the afternoon...

These last three photos were taken the day I got married. They were taken by Clifford Brunk in San Francisco. (Do I have to ask to use them here since I am telling you that he took them? His website is here...) He is really amazing... Clifford and Daddy... This first one makes me tear up.

Two of my favorite men:

Can you see why he is one of my favorite people?

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Where did everyone go?

2009-05-26T13:46:00.000-07:00

So I quit working and everyone leaves town... My daughter was camping in Colorado, and they can't get a flight back because they fly standby... My husband is working in Cuernavaca, Mexico (what? you don't know where that is? Yeah, me either. But the pictures that he keeps sending me from his iPhone are beautiful!)... my Dad is in Chicago watching Cubs games with my uncle... my brothers were both in London, now one is on his way back to Phoenix, and the other is leaving London tomorrow to go on an archeological dig in Cyprus (I am Wayyyyyyy jealous!) Oh, yeah, me? I am in boring Phoenix... 35 weeks pregnant, and it is too hot to really go anywhere this gigantic except the pool in my backyard. Basically, I am jealous that my family is traveling. I have done a fair amount of traveling, but I have the itch to get outta town again. Maybe I should just go get a pedicure huh?

I thought you might need a visual aide. Yeah, it's in spanish, cause I'm cool like that. I really just couldn't find one in English in a reasonable amount of time.

On a completely different note... What's up with the California Supreme Court's decision today? I am happy that they are not divorcing (for lack of a better word? un-marrying?) the couples that were married, but as for the rest of the decision, they totally suck.

I don't want that kind of C section either!

2009-05-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

I hate hearing about people's dreams as much as the next person, but this one is short and to the point.

Husband early in the morning: I just had the weirdest dream!

Me still asleep: About what?

Husband: You died, and I had to cut the baby out of your stomach with my Leather Man knife. The serrated side though, not the pointy side because I didn't want to poke the baby's
head.

Ew! He cut our baby out of my stomach with the serrated side of his pocket knife. Cause I was dead. That is the C section from hell!

Ciao!

2009-05-22T10:32:00.001-07:00

Today is my last day of work. Not my last day before the baby comes, but the last day ever. I quit my job. Nicely, of course. I auctioned my office supplies off to the highest lab mate, and cleaned off my desk thoroughly. It almost looks like I was never there. Except for the pipettes with my name still on them... Mwuahahah!

I had a great boss. He was very supportive of our education and goals. He put a lot of trust in my abilities in the lab and with collaborators. He trusted my work, and wrote me a kick ass letter of recommendation for grad school. (So kick ass that I got into SDSU. Twice. )

I am not sad. I have been in the same lab for 4 years. I started as a lowly intern, still in college, and was hired as a regular employee after my internship. I used to be the one asking the basic questions, now, as I depart, I am often the one answering them. I will miss my friends, but many of them have left the lab as well... To be mothers, to advance their careers, to go back to get another degree... I am not sad because I am ready for something new. Being a mom again, and going back to get my graduate degree next year. I don't feel like I am saying good bye so much as "see you later". Because I will see them later.

Bragging

2009-05-20T20:01:00.000-07:00

Whenever I brag it reminds me of the Dr. Suess book The Big Brag... with the rabbit and the bear... then the worm that comes in at the end and shows them both up... Yeah, we have read it so many times that we started using random accents to make it fun... Anyway... I brag:

This is my daughter.

She is a really cool kid. She attends Montessori and they let them go at their own pace in mixed grade classrooms.She gets to start 3rd grade in the fall because she "finished all her second grade work already". That puts her a year ahead. To put it lightly, I am immensely proud of her. She is a swimmer and she started karate as well in January. When she got her last belt (blue) they told her that she could test for her green belt in November, but she had to take the test in May so she would know what to expect in November. She expected to sit patiently and watch the other kids get their new belts at the belt ceremonies last night.

See? Sitting so patiently! And then what happens? They call her name and give her a green belt! The belt she was not supposed to be allowed to earn until November! She literally jumped for joy. But I made her stop jumping to take a picture:

A MUCH nicer post than yesterday's

2009-05-20T07:18:00.000-07:00

To make up for my emotional outburst yesterday... I give you Nigel the Bunny.

That nose! And those ears!

I'm still mad, but luckily I have Nigel here to cheer me up. Oh, and baby quail in my yard, following their mommy and daddy around. It's like baby central around here...

* My video didn't work the first time... Let's try again...

Not my happiest post.

2009-05-19T18:33:00.001-07:00

I just had a very disturbing experience with my ex husband regarding my daughter. I am livid right now and instead of flying off the handle in a hormone fueled pregnancy rage, I am writing it.

The basics are that my ex and I share custody of our daughter 50/50 (one week at my house, one at his) even though I think that is not what is best for her... for more reasons that I can list right here right now.

My ex and I do not see eye to eye on parenting. At all. There are ebbs and flows of course. I am feeling pushed to the limit though. This morning, my daughter called to tell me that her daddy bought her a dog. "Fun!" I told her, and asked what kind of dog. He would expect that question, and told her it is a terrier. At that very second the what went through my head was"well, as long as it's not a pitbull". Then I get to karate class tonight, and find out that, stupid me, an American Pittbull IS a terrier, and that's what they got. Now, I am well aware that this may be a stereotype placed on these dogs and that may be unfair. In most cases, dogs that are properly exercised are not aggressive regardless of breed. Those dogs are powerful though, and it's not like the man has a backyard for this dog to run around in and get it's exercise. He has a 1000 square foot condo. Nor does he have the time to exercise it between his 2 jobs. To say the least I find it irresponsible, and would rather that he chose a more appropriate dog for their living conditions.

At that point I figure the dog can have a chance, and I will talk to her when she comes home next week and see how it went even though I am not thrilled.

Then, he tells me that he has to leave right after karate ends tomorrow to get to his basketball game. I ask where the girl is going to go, and he says that she helps keep score. At 8pm. On a school night. I ask when she will eat dinner and get to bed, and he says he will figure it out. I offer to taker her home with me and feed her and take her to school the next morning so she can get a regular night 's sleep, and he says "that won't be necessary". Because apparently what is better for your seven year old daughter is NOT NECESSARY. AAAHHH!

Then karate class ends and we are leaving. I am hugging the girl and saying adios as usual, and she goes to get in the front seat of his car. I ask why she's getting in the fron seat, because HELLO! SHES SEVEN!, and she says "Daddy lets me sit in the front" with a smirk. So I turn to him and ask if there is a reason that she can't sit in the back. His reply is that it is not against the law for her to sit in the front seat anymore, she is tall enough. I respond that she may be tall enough according to the law, but the back seat is safer for children. He basically tells me that he does not care, because the law does not say that she has to sit there. I say no more, I get in my car and I cry when she can't see me anymore.

I do not understand why he can't just do the best thing for her. "SHE IS A CHILD!!!" I want to scream at him. Why does he think that just getting by is ok? I feel so helpless. I wanted to grab her and take her home with me, where the choices made are in her best interest always, but I can't. They may seem like small things individually, but the add up. It is always like this. Letting her watch PG-13 and R rated movies. Letting her have friends in her room with the door shut. The list goes on and on. I am so sick of it. And there is nothing that I can do about it but cry.

Mother Nature's Apology

2009-05-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

Remember this little guy?

Well, we had some sad news a few weeks later. We found him or his brother in the pool. It was really depressing. He probably got spooked in the middle of the night and fell in. He was way to teeny to find his way out. Anyway, remember this jerk and this jerk and the other jerks we found weekly for the first 8 weeks we lived here? Well I think Mother Nature felt bad because she left me this:

and his favorite place to hang out is right here (he must be a boy):

I had put him back because I had seen the mommy around, but then the next morning I saw him being chased around the yard by a huge bird that was trying to peck him to death. I am telling myself that I am saving him from the birds and the pool. I'm not sure if I am saving him or stealing him from his mommy. He is eating baby bunny food and cleaning himself, which my husband says is good. He licks the salt off my skin, and then I die of cuteness. He seems spunky (healthy?), so we will keep him until he can fight off the birds and then slowly introduce him back into nature. And by we I mean my husband, because I love him already. I named him Nigel.

Since I'm not sick anymore...

2009-05-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

We have a new ailment in my house. It is called ICan'tFindSomethingOfMineSoIAmGoingToBlameMomAndWhineUntilSheFindsItForMe. This is not a problem specific to the child in my house. Sadly my husband suffers from the condition as well. It usually goes like this:

MOMMMMMMM!!!! (or Honeyyyyyyyy! in the case of my Husband)

Yes?

I can't find my Byakugons! (or keys or binoculars(explanation another day) or pants or brain)

Well, where did you leave them?

I don't know! You moved them!!

Did you put them away?

Yes!

So I took them from their spot and moved them to somewhere else?

Yea, cause now I can't find them!

Well, did you put it away or leave it out for me to put away?

I put it away.

Really? I must have moved it on purpose to torture you?

Yea!

This never ends until I get up from what I am doing and help the person with the lost item find said item. The lost item is usually not far from the source, and the person who lost it is simply being too lazy to look harder for it. I assume this is a normal function in a home, however, I never find myself hunting for lost things that belong to me... Hmm...

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T17:32:00.000-07:00

So I have been MIA lately because, well, if you haven't got something nice to say, you should just not say anything right. I have been sick blah blah blah, but I had a really great day in spite of my ribs being messed up still and pretty painful.

I got my daughter back from her dad really early this morning, and we sat outside and had coffee/ hot chocolate on our back patio. Then she and my husband made me a super yummy breakfast sandwich (with prosciutto!) and gave me a necklace and a photo in a frame that she made me (tear!). It was very very sweet. Especially the making breakfast part. She was a really good helper.

Later we went to lunch with my dad and then we went swimming. I thought I should make fun of myself a little, so here you go...

**
Thank god I can still laugh at myself. I'm not sure whether to LOVE the person that invented the maternity swim suit, or to HATE them...

More pictures from lately:

Today at lunch with my dad and daughter...

Yesterday...

At my daughter's May Day celebration...

Since it's still Mother's Day I'm gonna go hang out with my mom and daughter now. Happy Mother's Day to all the mommas out there!

**Do not be confused. I only posted this because you cannot see that my lower half looks like the dark side of the moon. Or a container of cottage cheese with varicose veins.